I am a Model of Productivity

This is what my weekends are like: I fall asleep on the futon watching a movie. Then I wake up at roughly 2am to pee and then move up to the top bunk where my bed actually is. I just sleep on top of the covers with a throw blanket cause I don't want to have to make the bed in the morning. I wake up to the sound of a plane taking off about 100 meters away and the first thought in my mind is "...must. eat. pancakes." Then it takes me a couple hours to get dressed. I have to mentally prepare for the brightness that I will have to deal with outside. I have to find my sunglasses...oh crap, they're in the glove box of the Bug, so I have to go 10 feet without them. I purposely DON'T look in the mirror because then I'll be scared to go outside the house, so I just go on my merry way thinking that I look fine, but really my eyes are all puffy and my hair is crazy, and I haven't shaved my legs in a while, which really doesn't matter because if I don't wear my glasses I can't see that kind of detail from that distance. I just have to be careful not to look to closely! Then I mess around on the internet for a while, maybe write a blog about something super profound and life-changing, then I get the keys and go for pancakes.