Fruits and Nuts

I thought I'd had long, drawn-out travel experiences, but after this little jaunt I've had getting from Iraq to Eureka, all those previous trips are child's play. It all started on Jan 16th, when I left Tallil, Iraq at 2200. One hour flight on a C-17...smooth sailing. Got to Kuwait. One hour briefing ended at midnight, had to come back at 0130. slept about 30 minutes, ate, then came back for another brief and to get my itinerary. Be back at 0730 for the final brief and outprocessing. get a couple hours of sleep, then go back at 0730. short brief, then come back at 1245 for customs brief and inspection, the flight is supposed to leave at midnight that night. 1245 is cancelled, now be back at 1800. So at 1800 they tell us it's pushed back again, so come back at 2145. I come back at 2145 and we start the briefs. All 350 of us have every single bag dumped out and inspected THOROUGHLY by Navy customs, finall finish at 4am. now we are on lockdown in the customs yard with tents and a coffee shop. they tell us the push time to take buses to the airport is 1300. great. i doze off intermittently on a couch in one of the tents while a bunch of guys watch Top Gun about four times. 1300 comes and they say the plane is broken, we're not leaving till 1800. so they let us out of lockdown to go eat chow. we come back and I doze off again, this time to the soothing sounds of Black Hawk Down. FINALLY at 1800 we form up and count off to get on the buses. Somewhere there is an extra person so we spend 2 hours trying to figure it out with endless roll calls and counts. Finally we find some civilian that was trying to sneak on the flight and we run him off. Now we drive 2 hours to the Kuwait City International Airport. It takes about 30 minutes to load the plane, and we embark on the 6 hour flight to Germany. We land there and get off for about 45 minutes while the plane refuels. Now we're off on a 10 hour flight to Atlanta. Finally get to Atlanta and half the people get off there to go to their destinations and we clear customs and recheck our bags and set off to Dallas. Two hour flight to Dallas and we get off the plane and wait about 1 hour in line to get our leave forms processed. Then I grab my bags, run to the ticket counter to catch my flight to San Francisco. At the counter they tell me that the flight that I'm supposed to connect to from SFO to Eureka is oversold and it's the last flight out that day. I think to myself, well, maybe I can rush off the plane, grab my checked bags, rush back to the ticket counter and beg to be put on standby for that flight. problem is there's only a 45 minute window in which to do all that. So I take the 4 hour flight to Frisco, rush to the ticket counter, only to be rudely and incompassionately shut down by the lady at the counter. so the next flight is at 730 the next morning. I find the USO, and the guy there helps me find a hotel. Meanwhile I have been lugging my bags all over SFO and am ready to set fire to them on the mezzanine I am so sick of carrying them!!! So the hotel says we'll send a cab for you at no charge. I go outside and can't see their cab, so I take any old cab, assuming that it will be free of charge. As the meter approaches 15 bucks, I don't worry about the fact that I have no cash, since the hotel is going to pay for it. I get to the hotel and the cabbie comes inside with me to get paid. The lady at the counter informs me that it's only one cab company that they have a contract with and that I will have to pay for the cab, which the fare is now close to 20 bucks. No problem, I say, I'm so tired and want a bath so bad I'll pay 100 bucks for a cab if I have to. I pull out my bank card and the cabbie kindly informs me that he does not take cards. So I leave my bags there at the hotel and the cabbie gives me a ride down the street to find an ATM. In a stroke of luck that has somehow evaded me the ENTIRE trip, it's a Bank of America ATM at which I won't have to pay a fee. I take out 100 bucks and the guy takes me back to the hotel. I tip him, cause he was pretty nice. I get my room and throw down my bags with all the frustration of miles of walking carrying them through 20 airports across the globe. I wash my uniform in the bathtub, then clean the bathtub and take a hot bath while I watch something mindless on TV. Never had a bath that nice in my LIFE. I sleep like a little baby all night, and get up at 5am to do my hair, iron my uniform, and pack. I get the cab (complimentary this time!) to the airport early and check in. I make my way to the gate and have a seat. Some tunes seem like just the thing to relax and wait for the flight. I put in the headphones and jam out. Meanwhile, unbenownst to me, they are calling my name repeatedly on the intercom because my flight is about to leave without me. All the while I am jamming out to ACDC and lose complete track of time. about 10 minutes after my flight left, I suddenly have the wits to check my watch and realize with horror that I've missed the flight. I go over to the counter and the lady is like OH!! You're Haddon! we were looking everywhere for you! So I go to customer service and get on the next flight to Eureka, an hour later. So now I am sitting at the gate waiting for the flight, this time WITHOUT the headphones in. Now I can say that home never sounded so good!!! Lessons learned: Pack as light as possible when coming home from Iraq on leave. Don't put headphones in while waiting for your flight unless you ask someone next to you to let you know when the flight is leaving. Bring at least one extra uniform in case it takes you more than three days to get home and the one you are wearing can stand up and walk on its own. The flight is boarding...gotta go!!! :)